Certain Songs: Bush - "Glycerine"

For some time I had been considering making a top ten list dedicated to "those songs" that just have always struck a chord with me. It was not necessarily going to be an "end all, be all" list of my favorite songs or anything, but just a list of those songs which will always hit me like a ton of bricks when they come on. The more I tried to compile said list though, the more difficult I realized it would be to do a couple of things: a) Reduce the list down to just a definitive ten songs, b) Capture the emotion/feeling that each of these songs held/holds for me in a small paragraph. Presented with this predicament, I began to think that these songs deserved more than just a little blurb amongst a top ten list which people may or may not read anyhow. As such, I decided to start another "segment" of this blog that I am going to title "Certain Songs". Those hip to the Hold Steady will realize this is a direct "lift" from one of their songs, but the point is so well made by them, that it just makes sense. The theme of the song (and this segment) is best summed up by Craig Finn: "Certain songs they get so scratched into our souls." (sidenote: this is the second time I have actually alluded to this line on the blog). That's what I will be trying to capture with the "certain songs" posts. Just discussing how certain songs have hit me at a particular moment in my life, and how they will be with me for the rest of my life.
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What better place to start than the beginning then? Those who know me best, know that I have always been pretty into the whole music thing. It has clearly escalated in recent years, but I have always been "moved" by music in some form or another (I am pretty sure this stems from the fact that I have two of the most emotional parents in the world, who, I have both seen tear up at the playing of particular songs). Anyhow, one of the first songs (that I can remember) having this effect on me is "Glycerine", by Bush. While Gavin Rossdale and company may have fallen off the map since their reign at the top of mid-90's alternative rock scene, the songs that got them atop of that vast heap have stood the test of time, and are still great today (I realize that I probably believe this because these songs have been with me from the beginning, but that's what music is all about, right?).
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A little background would be appropriate. Bush's first album, Sixteen Stone, was released in late 1994, a year that was just loaded with great rock albums (Want a not-so-brief list?...Weezer - Weezer (Blue Album), Jeff Buckley - Grace, Oasis - Definitely Maybe, Green Day - Dookie, Soundgarden - Superunknown, Beck - Mellow Gold, Stone Temple Pilots - Purple, Pearl Jam - Vitalogy, Blues Traveler - Four, Live - Throwing Copper, The Offspring - Smash, The Smashing Pumpkins - Pisces Iscariot...). To be honest, I must say I am taken back by that list...are people seeing all of that 1994 greatness? It is like my entire awkward youth all right there in your face. Anyhow, the point is, with all these great albums coming out, Bush was right in the thick of things as one of the best in the crew.
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I still remember the first time I heard "Glycerine". It was not until a little over a year after Sixteen Stone was released, so I was about 11 or 12 (5th grade). I saw the video for the song on MTV, and I still remember the first time I heard the somber strings closing out the song, and thinking that they seemed oddly out of place (eventhough now they seem oddly appropriate). The song immediately "clicked" though, and has been with me ever since (talk about loyalty...on a two-way street).
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As nothing more than Mr. Stefani himself, an electric guitar and an array of strings flowing underneath the entire song (swelling and receding at exactly the right moments), "Glycerine" has all the makings of a song that I could absolutely beat the hell out of, and still love. It is sparse, with lyrics that are just ambiguous enough that they can apply to any relationship you have (although I must admit, as with most solo songs, "Glycerine" is most appropriate when the relationship is ending or over). By the way, did I mention the strings?
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Looking back at the time period in my life in which this song would have received the most heavy rotation, "Glycerine" would have most likely been seranading me to sleep throughout the most awkward years of my life (5th - 10th grade...ouch...five years). In fact, this song was not applicable to any relationships I was having because there were no relationships for the song to apply to. Relationships require two people to be involved at some point, and my life was pretty bereft of that second player in that aforementioned time period. That doesn't mean I couldn't relate to "Glycerine" though. Back then, the song was helping me deal with one of art's favorite topics, unrequited love. While I wasn't in relationships, it doesn't mean that I wasn't feeling heartbreak. As anyone who has ever had a non-reciprocated crush knows, you can feel great agony and never gone on a single date with someone. That's what "Glycerine" was doing for me during those years - helping me through my first encounters with heartbreak. However, anytime (going forward) I have found myself in the role of "unrequited lover", I find myself getting re-acquainted with "Glycerine".
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There was a (foolish) time when I would try to argue that "Glycerine" was the name of one of Rossdale's former lovers. In retrospect though, this was downright asinine. First of all, who has a name like Glycerine? Second of all, I am gonna go out on a limb and bet that Rossdale was singing about Glycerine and leaving off the word "Nitro" for songwriting ease. When the song is thought about in this sense, it all becomes a little more clear. I believe that Rossdale is singing about a relationship that grew to be so volatile ("I treated you bad, you bruised my face") that he was afraid to do anything because, like nitroglycerin, if you fuck with it too much, its gonna blow up in your face. In the end, something had to give though ("I needed you more, you wanted us less"), and his idle behavior made no difference because Rossdale's fears came to fruition, and he was left with nothing but sorrow and regret ("Could've been easier on you, I couldn't change, though I wanted to"). The song perfectly frames the role of the one-way lover, who is aware that all is not well, but is too attached to let go, so he just sits there as it all comes crumbling down in front of him.
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Like an old friend, "Glycerine" has been around since the beginning. Before girls ever gave me the time of day, and probably before I had even experienced enough to truly appreciate the song. Songs don't discriminate though. They can be whatever each individual makes them out to be, and for that we should be grateful. Looking back though, I am not sure if those "awkward" years ever ended. It seems like everytime you start to get comfortable with who you "think" you are, life throws you a curveball, and it is back to those "awkward" years all over again. Trying to adjust just enough to fit in. Sure, we don't have braces and ill-fitting clothing anymore, but have we really evolved that far from our early teenage selves? It might just be. Clear, simple, and plain.


- Jameson

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